It is highly likely you will experience a toxic relationship sometime in your life. This could be an intimate relationship, friendship, family, or even just at your workplace.
There is only one thing certain in a toxic relationship. You need to get out.
Toxicity sucks the life out of you. It drains you, even long after the relationship ends.
But, you need to realise that you are the only person who can end this.
01. Persistent inconsistency. The relationship jumps back and forth between amazing and awful. As well as living in a state of unpredictability, which brings up anxiousness, nervousness and frightening emotions due to an unknown way of how the other is going to respond.
02. They are possessive and controlling of your emotions and your time. They dictate what and where you are going to be, and how you are going to feel when you are with them.
03. Manipulation. Turning your words back on you, or guilt-tripping.
04. ‘No,’ is never appreciated. Toxic people don’t take no for an answer. They flip it back on you and make you feel guilty for what you don’t want.
05. You go out of your way to an extreme, purely the please the other person, to avoid the consequences you have experienced in the past. E.g. you finish work early (when you really shouldn’t have) or you miss a catch up with an old friend, to ensure the house is clean/food is on the table, so your S.O is ‘happy’ and won’t start an argument or make you feel guilty.
06. You put their emotions, thoughts, and priorities above your own to keep them happy.
07. Excessive, unnecessary passive-aggressive behaviour. “fine then, I’ll just stay home alone, by myself, while you go hang out with your better friends.” (uh, how annoying is this btw)
08. You keep getting reminded of things you did from the past. Often used to turn things back on you, and make you feel like the guilty one so you discount what they have done.
09. You are constantly walking on eggshells. Whether it is to avoid the arguing or abuse, or out of fear to share your own thoughts and opinions, because you know from past record, they will get shut down too.
10. You are too afraid to end the relationship because you know things will just explode. You would rather be cautious around them, than experience the fall out of saying no. This is exactly when you should know someone serious is wrong.
“It’s not always loud. it’s not always obvious. the poison doesn’t always hit you like a gunshot. sometimes, it seeps in quietly, slowly. sometimes, you don’t even know it was ever there until months after.” – Unknown.